{"chapter_no":"13","chapter_title":"A Roaring Fire","book_id":"2","book_name":"The Story of James","subchapter_no":"0","page_no":"258","page_number":"1","verses_count":0,"total_pages":3,"page_content":"

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Chapter 13<\/p>

A Roaring Fire<\/h1><\/p>

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Following his return home from the hospital, James adjusts to the new realities of his life—He
makes a bellows to build a roaring fire of the Spirit.<\/i><\/p>

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James remained hospitalized for two weeks. Follow-up tests and a second surgery were
performed, after which a permanent cast was put in place. Three months later, the cast was
removed, and physical therapy sessions were started. After a few weeks of therapy, he found that
he could walk small distances without the aid of crutches. Nevertheless, he was told by his
doctor to ease into things slowly, since putting undue stress on the foot might risk further injury.
He was also warned to refrain from running or engaging in athletic activities, something very
discouraging to James. He was accustomed to running and being active in athletics all day long.
It was the nightmare of the basketball camp being played out again—he was forced to sit on the
sidelines and watch as others played. There was so much he would miss: the feel of the ball in
his hand, bringing the ball up the court, the fun of the competition, setting up plays and running
the offense, and creating the impressive, difficult passes to his teammates. And certainly, he
would miss the cheers of the crowd and the joy of winning a hard-fought game with a final shot.
He did have the remarkable experiences of the summer basketball camp to look back upon. But
not having had the opportunity to participate much, he spent much of his time at camp angry and
feeling sorry for himself––a microcosm of what he faced now. <\/p>

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The first few months that followed the accident were a dramatic departure from his
previous lifestyle. More plainly spoken––they were miserable times for James. Frustrations
related to his new disability would sometimes build up inside of him and cause him to shrink
away from everyone, including even his mother and father. The trial was something he had to
endure mostly on his own, the suffering of which sometimes took him dangerously close to the
limit of what he could bear. Thus, James cried often. His cry as a young man didn’t normally
manifest itself as an outburst of tears, although that sometimes happened, too, if he was alone.
More often he would just cower in some corner of the house like a wounded animal, wanting to
be left alone and unable to be comforted by anyone. It was a labor in the spirit, a battle between
the powerful new testimony he had been given by God at the basketball camp and the severe
depression brought on by the accident. The bout with depression caused his emotions to spiral
downward at times, occasionally breaching the divide between sanity and insanity. These were
critical moments of his life where the salvation of his soul was in play. Was life worth living?
That was an unsettled question in his mind. <\/span><\/p>

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There was no quick or obvious solution to his situation. He just had to wait it out and
hope for a better day to come. A brutal war of attrition was being waged between his faith in God
and the feelings of despair that constantly dogged him. But as each cycle of depression came to
an end, there was always a recovery period that came after. This reinvigorated him with hope,
increased his energy, and gave him a day or two where he could feel good again. His life
followed this pattern for a while: first, depression, and the need to just wait things out; second, a
recovery period, where some relief was provided—like a fever that finally dissipates; and then
third, a few days of hope, when he felt a little better about the future, and could laugh and smile
more. These cycles of depression that played out made his faith stronger and moved him closer
to God. In addition, the limit of what he was able to endure increased each time, making any new
cycles of depression that came later more manageable. It was as though he were running
emotional wind sprints of one hundred yards each, then doing some two-twenties and four-
forties, except that the intense exercise was going on inside his soul. In the end, it made him very
sensitive to the suffering of others<\/span>.<\/p>

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But let’s not kid ourselves. It was tough going every day for James through all of this.
The disability forced upon him by the tragedy was overwhelming, as it would be for anyone else
in similar or more difficult circumstances. He was human. In spite of his faith, and in spite of the
strong support group of people around him, there were setbacks at times, and he would succumb
to depression and temporarily lose his bearings in life. The Spirit attended to him often, but not
always. So, on those days, he was left to battle through mortality an hour at a time. This required
that James learn to become the catalyst himself, to find a way out of the depression he felt—to
do something good and to be something good. He had to learn to stand on his own two spiritual
feet and develop the means to ignite passion and energy within himself. Like Nephi, he needed to
create a bellows with which to blow upon and create a roaring fire, to create something out of
nothing in the world using the spark of his own free will as the catalyst. The more often he
started fires within himself, igniting passion, the happier he was. <\/span><\/p>

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This was the ongoing battle every day, James needing to rekindle the fire each morning
from the glowing embers left over from the night before. Through his morning prayers, he blew
upon the embers to create a new flame. That done, he could bask in its warmth and enjoy the
burning sensation for the rest of the day<\/span>. <\/p>

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During this process of building and maintaining the fire, the Spirit was always there to
watch over James. He intervened at various points along the way in a sort of leapfrogging, line-
upon-line manner, bestowing greater knowledge and increasing James's faith with each hop. As
James grew stronger through that which he could build within himself, the Spirit visited him in
greater manifestations, blowing air through a bellows of His own upon the fire between them.
James, feeling this new heat from the Spirit, was thus encouraged to work harder. It motivated
him to further strengthen his bellows so that he could push additional air from his side. In this
simple child’s game of leapfrog with the Spirit, a seemingly limitless frontier of faith in God had
been breached. <\/p>

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That which is true for James is true for everyone. All of us can enjoy this same wonderful
interaction with the Spirit by learning how to create something out of nothing from within
ourselves. If Zion doesn’t exist in a ward, someone can step forward as the catalyst and help <\/p>

create it. You create it by making use of all the wonderful things of the restored gospel that you
hold in your hands. If your testimony in the gospel is lukewarm, or if you are feeling empty or
sad in your heart on any one of the three hundred and sixty-five days of the year, what you can
do is this––instantly halt yourself in what you are doing, redirect your thoughts upward towards
God with the greatest humility and love you can muster, and seek out the fire of the Holy Ghost.
Under such circumstances, the Spirit will gladly come upon you and fill your soul with the
goodness of God and the desire to do big things in the world. <\/p>

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We are born free, as in the wonderful 1960's movie and theme song by that name. The
intelligence we have as human beings allows us to act on our own and do good independent of
the other forces around us. We can spawn a spontaneous generation of love and faith in the
gospel just as we might otherwise initiate thoughts that are sad or evil in nature<\/span>. <\/p>

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All of us are capable of this quick halt and redirection effort at any time of the day. We
can choose to do it right now, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, a month from now, a year from
now... or never.<\/p>

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