Chapter 39

The Glance of a Woman

The countenance of Beth shines upon James as she shares her experiences—Beth provides insight
to James about his goals in life—The glance of a woman can be overpowering, taking a man to the great
unknown.

To free themselves of the loud music, the new couple walked outside the building and
found a bench on which to sit down. There, they continued their conversations for another two
hours. Beth shared with James the story of her younger sister Audrey and the pain and trials that
her family went through during that difficult period. Comfortable with James, she tearfully
described the last few weeks when Audrey was in the hospital—the bitterness, the anger, and the
hurt she felt inside. She then proceeded to tell him about all her experiences since that time and
how she had grown stronger in faith. She bore a strong testimony that her family would all be
together again one day.

James listened with great interest, feeling the power of her testimony. He was surprised at
the depth of knowledge she had of spiritual things; her experiences in the gospel seemed to
mirror many of his own. It was clear to James that he was in the presence of a very special young
lady and he felt extremely lucky to be talking with her. This was one of the greatest moments of
his life, and certainly the happiest.

Beth completed her story. It was then James’s turn to talk.

He talked first about the family’s landscaping business and the story of the five-dollar
lawn taught to him early in life by his father. His ambition to become a great basketball player,
the experiences at the basketball camp in Los Angeles, and all the exciting events of his sports
career came next. He gave a moving account of the accident with the piano, as well as the
sobering events the following morning in the hospital room. He talked about his time as a
missionary, some of the experiences he had while serving in St. Louis, and the disappointment of
having to come home early. Finally, feeling very comfortable with Beth, he decided to share with
her the important goal he had chosen for himself in life––to help his ward move closer to the
ideal of the five-dollar lawn.

Beth, like Bishop Tyler and all of James’s family before her, was astonished by what she
heard. The unique experiences filled in the details of a life resume that she had already begun to
sense in James. She was quite familiar with the story “Countess and the Impossible” and the
lesson it contained.

As James made reference to the story, Beth had an interesting thought come to mind. She
stopped him in mid-sentence.

“James,” she began, “I can tell that the accident to your foot was a very traumatic
experience, probably something very hard for someone like me to understand and appreciate. It
would be very natural that most of your energy and prayers would be focused towards the hope
of being healed one day. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes!” replied James, feeling a sense of relief that she understood, ”I would give
anything to have my foot like it was before.”

Beth shifted her position on the chair and looked more excitedly at James.

“But I think there may be an aspect to this you haven't considered before.”

“What's that?” asked James, thinking it impossible that he had not yet explored every
possible angle of this ongoing trial with his foot.

“Let me ask you a question and maybe you will see what I mean.

“If you were able to choose, would you prefer to have your foot healed right at this
moment, or instead be granted success in achieving this lifetime goal of yours... to see the gospel
implemented at the five-dollar level in your ward and beyond?

“In other words, which of those two things do you desire the most?” asked Beth.

James's smile grew wider, seeing her point.

“You're so right! I've never thought of it that way. To see my goal accomplished one day
would be incredible for me, for my ward and stake.... perhaps as a model for the entire Church.
The healing of my foot is nothing in comparison. It’s not even close.”

What a wonderful girl! thought James, his astonishment growing by the minute.

The last few hours talking with Beth had added a whole new dimension to his life. She
talked with him like a counselor, equal in all things, able to provide insight and helpful ideas to
him in key areas of his life. And her eyes were so beautiful. The effect of her talking and looking
into his eyes was disorienting, like the encounter of Marius in the park with Jean Valjean
(Monsieur Leblanc) and Cossette, now a young woman:

On one of the last days of the second week, Marius was seated on his bench, as usual,
holding in his hand an open book, of which he had not turned a page for the last two hours. All
at once he started.

An event was taking place at the other extremity of the walk. Leblanc and his daughter
had just left their seat, and the daughter had taken her father's arm, and both were advancing
slowly, towards the middle of the alley where Marius was. Marius closed his book, then opened
it again, then forced himself to read; he trembled; the aureole was coming straight towards him.

"Ah! good Heavens!" thought he, "I shall not have time to strike an attitude."

Still the white-haired man and the girl advanced. It seemed to him that this lasted for a
century, and that it was but a second.

"What are they coming in this direction for?" he asked himself. "What! She will pass
here? Her feet will tread this sand, this walk, two paces from me?"

He was utterly upset, he would have liked to be very handsome, he would have liked to
own the cross. He heard the soft and measured sound of their approaching footsteps. He
imagined that M. Leblanc was darting angry glances at him.

"Is that gentleman going to address me?" he thought to himself.

He dropped his head; when he raised it again, they were very near him. The young girl
passed, and as she passed, she glanced at him. She gazed steadily at him, with a pensive
sweetness which thrilled Marius from head to foot. It seemed to him that she was reproaching
him for having allowed so long a time to elapse without coming as far as her, and that she was
saying to him: "I am coming myself." Marius was dazzled by those eyes fraught with rays and
abysses.

He felt his brain on fire. She had come to him, what joy! And then, how she had looked at
him! She appeared to him more beautiful than he had ever seen her yet. Beautiful with a beauty
which was wholly feminine and angelic, with a complete beauty which would have made
Petrarch sing and Dante kneel. It seemed to him that he was floating free in the azure heavens.
At the same time, he was horribly vexed because there was dust on his boots. He followed her
with his eyes until she disappeared. Then he started up and walked about the Luxembourg
garden like a madman. It is possible that, at times, he laughed to himself and talked aloud. He
was desperately in love.

It was serious; in fact, Marius had reached that first violent and charming hour with
which grand passions begin. A glance had wrought all this. When the mine is charged, when the
conflagration is ready, nothing is more simple. A glance is a spark. It was all over with him.
Marius loved a woman. His fate was entering the unknown.

The glance of women resembles certain combinations of wheels, which are tranquil in
appearance yet formidable. You pass close to them every day, peaceably and with impunity, and
without a suspicion of anything. A moment arrives when you forget that the thing is there. You go
and come, dream, speak, laugh. All at once you feel yourself clutched; all is over. The wheels
hold you fast, the glance has ensnared you. It has caught you, no matter where or how, by some
portion of your thought which was fluttering loose, by some distraction which had attacked you.

You are lost. The whole of you passes into it. A chain of mysterious forces takes possession of
you. You struggle in vain; no more human succor is possible. You go on falling from gearing to
gearing, from agony to agony, from torture to torture, you, your mind, your fortune, your future,
your soul; and, according to whether you are in the power of a wicked creature, or of a noble
heart, you will not escape from this terrifying machine otherwise than disfigured with shame, or
transfigured by passion.

Beth was more than just a beautiful woman; suddenly, she was everything to James. She
had penetrated his heart; she, and the Spirit of God that she had brought with her, had entered
into his soul. The effect was overwhelming.

Enjoying her role as counselor, Beth had another idea come to her, pouncing on this new
concept like a cat leaping upon a mouse.

“But isn’t this the same choice that all of us need to make?" she asked.

“We all suffer in one way or another. I thought my suffering was the worst of all when
Audrey was taken away from us.

“What about the sick and the afflicted, the unemployed or underemployed, the ones who
suffer quietly, those who are ignored and need attention? I think of my own ward in Millville. If
all of us could instantly receive hundreds of miracles today––those sick among us being instantly
healed, all of our prayers immediately answered, and all of our needs being taken care of––is that
what we truly want in our lives? Or is there something even better?

“What if we all were to surprise the Lord one day and ask for something different? What
if, instead of the usual things, we all prayed and asked the Lord to help us implement the gospel
of Jesus Christ better in our wards and stakes—to help us all move closer to Zion in the
Church?”

Smiling, she added, “What would the Lord’s reaction be to something like that? One of
great delight!”

Beth, quickened by the Spirit, spoke as a woman beyond her years, having a marvelous
vision and the strategic thinking of a great leader in her own right.

James was captivated by her eyes, catching a word here and there. He couldn't speak, so
he just listened. She had taken his ideas, explored their depth, reframed them, improved upon
them, and then added to them.

“I agree,” said James, recovering a little momentum on his side of the conversation. “And
really, if you think about it, it's all within our power as Latter-day Saints. We ourselves are the
catalysts of Zion. We just need to stand up and start working towards the ideal of the gospel in
our wards.”

"Funny you should say that," replied Beth. “That’s exactly what my mother told me
tonight! She said that the ideal is something we must create in the world and bring to pass in our
lives.”

Paula and Denise had been waiting patiently, careful not to interrupt Beth and her new
“friend” outside. But it was getting late and they were anxious to return home. From a position
near the doors, they waved to get Beth’s attention. The glorious evening was about to come to an
end.

Before saying goodbye, Beth invited James to come up to her home in Millville the next
day. He would come for lunch and spend the day with her.

James walked with them to their car. Beth, the driver, waved to him through the car
window as she drove off.

Standing alone in the cold night air of the parking lot, James watched the car until it was
completely out of sight—like Marius following Cossette with his eyes as she left the park. He
was ecstatic.

What an evening this was! he thought to himself. So much has happened to me in just a
few hours.

“Ah, the punch bowl!” said James. He rushed inside and saw that the dance was starting
to wind down. One of the teachers had seen him depart the building with Beth and had taken
over for him. He checked in the kitchen to see if they needed help washing dishes, but everything
seemed to have been taken care of.

James returned outside to where his truck was parked. Looking up, he shouted loudly to
the stars in the night sky.

“I’m so glad I came... and I’m so glad I stayed!”