Chapter 36

P-Day Mishap

A mistake in judgment forces James to return home early—He longs to be healed.

The mission field presented James with many physical challenges. The first two months
in St. Charles went well; he was able to keep up with his companion quite easily since the two of
them used bikes to get around. He was then transferred into St. Louis City, a more urban area of
the mission, and a place where he and his companion relied mostly on walking and public
transportation. And as they were sometimes late for their appointments, they would be forced to
hurry, putting more stress on his foot than ever before.

James's thinking was that he could just work through the pain and grind it out. To this
end, he had received a priesthood blessing from his stake president before entering the mission
field, and then another one from his new companion as the pain in his foot increased. These
blessings were very helpful. They strengthened his resolve to be patient in affliction and to do a
better job of planning appointments so he could rest along the way and not have to hurry. They
also eased his mind concerning his mission call, reassuring him that he would be able to finish
his mission like all of the other missionaries.

After his sixth month in the mission, James was made a senior companion and transferred
to the suburbs of St Louis. He was also able to use a bike again there, which came as a welcome
relief. An alert decision had been made by someone in the mission office to assign James only to
areas where a bike could be used, to minimize the amount of walking he needed to do every day.

It was here in this third area, however, that James made a key error in judgment that
would have dire consequences for him. He was a great missionary––a full account of his many
wonderful experiences as a missionary is not included here for the sake of brevity––but he was
still a young man, subject to the flaws and errors of youth.

On the first preparation day following his transfer to Kirkwood, James got together with
other missionaries at the Church for a half-court, three-on-three basketball game. He had shot
baskets for fun a number of times since the accident, but this was the first time he actually tried
to take part in any kind of scrimmage. Unable to make sudden movements or to run, James could
only hold his position in the key and switch back and forth slowly between offense and defense.
But as luck would have it, just minutes into the game, James lunged for a rebound and landed
awkwardly on someone else's foot, causing a surge of pain in his right foot. The other
missionaries rushed him immediately to a hospital where it was determined that surgery was

needed to repair the new damage that had been done. A few weeks of immobilization and rest
came next.

As one might expect, President Robbins was quite upset with James after hearing what
had happened—his deciding to play in a pickup basketball game knowing full well he might risk
a new injury. After being released from the hospital, James was allowed to work with the elders
in the office, but with the large medical expenses he had already incurred, and the ongoing
requirements there were for further treatments and physical therapy, it was an awkward situation.
James could see he was more of a burden upon the time and resources of the mission than being
a help to it, and he had brought all of this on himself.

The new medical expenses incurred in the mission field also uncovered an interesting
piece of information for James. It had actually been Charles White, and not his father, who had
paid most of his medical costs all these years. Charles could only smile when he found out that
James had tried to play basketball in the mission field and had reinjured himself. It was very
understandable from his standpoint, having played competitively himself against James a number
of times, and knowing his passion for the game. After taking care of the new bills from the St.
Louis hospital, he then sent a nice letter to James, telling him how proud he was of him as a
missionary, and that he should make sure to do exactly what his attending doctors told him to do
to ensure the long-term healing process was optimized.

James was forever grateful to Charles and all he had done for him, but he truly longed to
be healed, being no different from anyone else in that respect. He dreamed of becoming
mainstream again, able to walk, run, and be active in sports like the other missionaries.

At the onset of his mission, it didn’t seem out of the question that he might enjoy added
blessings from the Lord as a reward for his faithful service; or, at a minimum, that he would be
able to deal with the day-to-day rigors of the mission field. Thus far he had been able to do that.
An idea very appealing to him had been that serving a mission might in itself lead to a miracle—
a vision of returning home whole and fully healed after his two years were completed.

But that could no longer happen. He had compromised his own situation; rest and
resumption of physical therapy treatments back home with his regular doctors seemed to be the
only practical solution. The possibility of having to use a cane for the rest of his life had been
mentioned by one of the attending physicians, which really scared James. He really needed to
take it easy and tread carefully with his foot. Thus, not only would he not be returning home
fully healed, but he would be forced to return home early because of a careless mistake on his
part.

In August of 1981, only eight months into his mission, President Robbins decided that it
was best for James to return home.

The trip home on the plane was a bitter and embarrassing experience. Deeply saddened,
James had feelings of one who is alone and without God in the world. The circumstances at the
airport as he met his family were nothing at all like he had hoped.